it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
