I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
