3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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