Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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