My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
