White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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