yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
being pregnant is like rehab
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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