I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
