it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You smell like stripper and shame
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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