There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize