I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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