Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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