This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
