so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
