Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
