Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
