we're blogging at a bar
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i out mim tonsoeep
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