Just fell off a train. Bad.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
