Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
