i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
