Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
