Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
