I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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