Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?

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(425): View more from Washington

Hi

(805): View more from California

Babe...You're really smothering me right now

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(323): View more from California

Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!

(206): View more from Washington

Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...

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(631): View more from New York

conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?

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(434): View more from Virginia

Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...

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(209): View more from California

and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow

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(567): View more from Ohio

what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon

(419): View more from Ohio

well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list

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