How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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