Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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