He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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