That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
