Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
