i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
MIDGETS
????
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
