Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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