we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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