sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
