I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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