Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
