Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
