Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize