Cold hands, warm shart.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
