He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize