I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
