put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
