marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
