I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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