I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
