just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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