have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
