So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
