if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sext me about skeletons
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
