Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
