there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
