Your mouth is God's brothel.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize