I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
