This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
