I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
