if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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