It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
