i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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