roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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