Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
