He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
