He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
