I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
