Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
