Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....

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(812): View more from Indiana

At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

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(480): View more from Arizona

so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her

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(631): View more from New York

I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

(1-631): View more from New York

I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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(301): View more from Maryland

He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.

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