What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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