I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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