We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize